The Objectivity Of Relativity

von Rothwell Bronrowan

Ein satirisches Essai von Rothwell Bronrowan, das einen unbeschwerten Beitrag zu den ernsthaften Auseinandersetzungen über die bekannten Argumentationsmuster der Relativisten liefert:

The Objectivity Of Relativity

There are some mad people out there. They call themselves non-relativists, and some of them even call themselves critics of relativity!

In the past we have tended to shun them and have managed very successfully to silence them completely by keeping their silly arguments out of all mainstream physics publications, saving them at the same time much unnecessary embarrassment. Our success in this respect has not been limited to America and England, but can also be seen in many other countries, including most of Einstein’s earlier „home“ countries (he got around).

One such country that we are particularly proud of is Germany. Our successes here go back to the early nineteen twenties. Do you realize what that means? Think about it. The modern Federal Republic of Germany has only existed since 1949. That means that these foolish critics have never had an opportunity to mislead our German public at all. Einstein would certainly applaud in his grave.

You know what the worst thing is? These critics have somehow got it into their heads that they are the ones who take an objective position in physics, and not us. Such infamy never used to matter, of course, because they were unable to get their ideas published anyway. Until the Internet came. And now their views – and challenges! – are suddenly popping up all over the place.

These people not only have the cheek to claim that they have counter-arguments for all of our relativistic findings – who is this GOM fellow anyway? – but they even reject one of the best and most famous laws of physics discovered by Einstein and Lorentz: time dilation.

That’s why I’ve decided to discard our previous policy of ignoring them, to make it clear to everyone that – and why – we relativists are the only objective authority in the world of physics today.

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Eine Antwort zu “The Objectivity Of Relativity”

  1. Luitpold Mayr

    Mr. Bronrowan wrote:“The faster you move, the slower you age.“ But I think movement gives no hope for a longer life. We all – relativists and non-relativists – are racing on our earth around the sun with a speed of 30 km/sec. A space-rocket is simply to slow for getting a big effect. Don’t believe your doctor if he says that movement is healthy. Medical science is in the same error as physics.

    There is another principle of modern physics: „Time is what you see on the clock.“ If you stop your watch in the evening before going to bed, and start the watch again in the mornig, you will win about the third of your live-time. I suppose that many people already trust on this trick of modern physics and stop their watches temporary. Or do you know another reason why the human population becomes always elder?